Judgment of Others
“Why do we judge others so harshly for being who they are, if their actions and behaviors feed their spirit and are not harmful to themselves or others?
Why do we judge ourselves so harshly for being who we are, if our actions and behaviors feed our spirit and are not harmful to ourselves or others?”
This is a wonderful attitude to have when looking at others. I noticed yesterday, however, that it went right out the window while I was driving. A whole litany of judgments were flying around in my brain! I mean, FLYING! One driver after another, judged as highly incompetent, stupid or ignorant.
Oh my goodness, how harsh. At one point I realized what was happening and said aloud, “What are you DOING, Carolyn?” I clearly was not practicing respect for those individuals, as I talked about in my last blog post!
Where did this streak of judgment, this lack of respect for others come from? I am not sure. It was not fear that I was a “less than” driver. In fact, I was touting my skills. I was tired and anxious to get home. Everyone was going 10 miles under the speed limit, in all four lanes. They were in my way.
I wonder if, because things were not going the way I wanted, I had the need to make someone wrong because of it? That attitude certainly could use a bit of self-searching to get to the root of the belief. I have learned how to do that in sobriety. I’ll keep you posted about what I find.
And what about judging others when they are not a danger? Is it because another is different from us and we feel less than, feel the need to elevate ourselves by putting another down? Or are we afraid of them? What is it that leads us to judge so harshly?
Tags: caroltncjjones, Carolyn CJ Jones, fear, living sober, respect of others, Self-searching, Sober Living, sobriety
Carolyn, I have felt this way so many times, especially while driving. I often will judge someone, and then laugh and say “yeah, because I’m so perfect!” Why do we do it? I’m not sure of the answer either – maybe venting helps us get through these frustrating situations – but I look forward to your journey figuring out why.
Sharon Hiebing
Creating Wealth through Caring & Connecting
http://www.wealthships.com
[...] Proper viewing distance is something to keep in mind in many aspects of life. Perfection – or even tolerance – is strongly dependent on where the viewer is standing. Many of our judgments, positive and negative – are a product of our mental ortho-stereoscopic position. Carolyn Jones explores one example of this in her blog post Judgment of Others. [...]
I believe it’s a built in feature of the human that we are all the center of the Universe – our own universe anyway. This seems to be very compelling while driving – piloting our very own vessel and charting our own course. Curses upon any who impede our desired progress. “This is my journey! Get out of my way!” (delivered with much emotion and colorful language). My only defense when I find myself fuming at all of the “idiots” on the road is to make a deliberate decision to relax, take a deep breath and enjoy the journey. After all, this may be the Universe’s way of keeping me safe from something in front of me.
This doesn’t add any insight into why we judge others, or ourselves so harshly. I’ve explored that a little myself in a recent blog post. No resolution though (LOL)
Kerry Hargraves
http://creatingadventures.com
Life is game that can’t be won, only played. So let’s play!
Hi Kerry, I really liked how you deal with those days that the “idiots” are out in full force. It’s a conscious decision to let go of it and relax. Takes lots of willingness. Good advice. Think I’ll try to remember that next time. I have to read your recent blog post! I’ll leave a comment. Thanks!
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