Despair – Have You Been There?
Face of Despair
Have you been there… to that place of utter defeat, utter uselessness, utter despair? Perhaps praying to die because you just cannot seem to get past this. That’s what I experienced when I was in deep despair… the feeling that nothing was worth it, there was no purpose to my life’s sufferings. There was no purpose to my life.
For me, this resolved when, out of the blue, I discovered my life’s purpose. It was an answer to my prayers. The old way of thinking about myself had to die to make room for the new revelation. It happened like this…
One day, I had the opportunity to speak with a man who was suffering emotionally, who was dealing with some of the same issues I had dealt with during the course of my sobriety. Specifically, it was childhood issues. I let him talk and then he asked if I had any words of wisdom to impart. I replied that all I could do was relay my experience. So I did, including the names of authors I had read that were helpful in my healing.
He was so grateful, he almost cried. As I walked to my car, I realized that my life’s sufferings had been useful to another, that had I not endured what I had, I wouldn’t have been able to help this man. Suddenly, my life had a purpose and I believed it was to share my story with others. Specifically, it was to share my book with the world, to tell the story of my journey, the story of the book’s journey.
From that day forward, I have not felt despair. I have felt enlivened, with a deep sense of purpose that involved helping others, being useful. That experience allowed me to get out of myself and display caring for my fellow human being. There is nothing quite like feeling you have helped another in need….
Have you felt despair and gotten past it? What was that like for you?
Tags: Carolyn CJ Jones, defeat, despairing, life's purpose, living sober, Opening the Gates of the Heart, sobriety, uselessness
[...] When I take action and that action is continually met with a closed door, i.e., things do not work out smoothly and easily, I begin to doubt that I am on the right track. Then I lose confidence in myself and slip into discouragement, and, if bad enough, despair. [...]
Action requires knwolegde, and now I can act!
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