Honesty With Ourselves and Others
If you didn’t get a chance to read Stan Stewart’s great guest posts, you may wish to take the opportunity to do so. Day one was about “Feelings Are Energy in Motion” and day two was “Shame and Humility.” They are well worth reading.
As we move on through the book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, we come to honesty. I used to think I was an honest person; I didn’t steal from or cheat others. But in sobriety, I learned that honesty has to do with what I tell the world about myself, as well as how I treat others.
Welds of Honesty
“I look at the ways in which I treat myself and others. Can I allow myself and others to see what I find, to see who I truly am?
“Perhaps, if I let go of the parts that do not serve me, I can weld my being with honesty. I can weld a secure and solid structure of great strength on which I can build my Self.”
That is the verse which accompanies this image. It suggests that we look at ourselves closely, examining how we treat others and ourselves, and we allow others to see what we find. In addition, we allow ourselves to see what we discover about us.
It also suggests that we become stronger when we drop those things about ourselves that are not honest, that do not serve us.
The part I’d like to note is how we allow the world to see who we are. We often hide that, hide behind a facade of politeness, or gruffness. This verse asks that we stop doing that, that we allow those around us to see ourselves as we truly are, with all our warts and beauty alike.
This can be very difficult, especially if we are trying to protect ourselves form hurt which we may have experienced in the past. We often feel vulnerable when we are honest about our feelings, our thoughts, and it IS a frightening place to be.
But with practice and venturing forth in sobriety, we learn to show more honesty about who we are at our deepest level. In this process, however, we use discernment about who is safe to say things to. For example, if we are around someone who is verbally abusive, bullying, intimidating, or belittling, it is not in our best interest to relay some of our thoughts. In these cases, we keep our thoughts to ourselves and we try to remove ourselves from this destructive situation.
Most people will receive what we have to say. It may be uncomfortable at first, but we keep practicing honesty with others about who we are.
We also look with honesty at how we treat others and we swallow our pride while we do this, as we may not treat them very well. But we need to look at this also, in order to develop honesty.
How do you practice honesty with yourself and others? Do you allow them to see the delightful parts of yourself. or do you remain closed, keeping that delightful being to yourself?
Tags: honesty, sober, Sober Living, sobriety