How to Cope When Self-Doubt Manifests as Low Self-Esteem
Shadows of Doubt
The next topic in the book is doubt and the verse that accompanies the photo describes how difficult it is to get out of it… “I am mired again in the shadows of my doubt, my fear. I circle and circle and circle around the stones of my heart, caged, unable to pass through to the place where my heart is bathed in light.”
The doubt to which I referred in this verse was doubt of myself, as well as of a power greater than myself. Let’s look at both of these issues in two separate posts…
Interestingly enough, doubt and fear often go hand-in-hand. You may be doubting yourself, and at the same time, fearing you are not good enough, that you will not, or do not, measure up. Your doubt is manifesting as low self-esteem. How do you get past this?
For me, the first thing I must do is to realize I am doing this, to identify it. Then, I must acknowledge it, perhaps determine where it came from originally. It doesn’t work for me to cast it out; that’s what I did with my feelings when I drank and it didn’t work.
One thing that worked was to take an appraisal of myself, listing out all of my positive points. I had to be honest, though, and give myself credit for my good points. This worked except when I was feeling so much doubt, when I had a high amount of low self- esteem, that I was unable to see any good in myself.
In that situation, I sat down with a trusted friend who knew me and asked her to help me list out my positive points. Armed with that list, I kept it in a place where I could look at it often. I referred to it frequently to get used to seeing, for example, that I am a compassionate person who does kind acts for people.
I looked at the list to ease into my mind and heart all the good things about myself. Little by little, my self-doubt began to erode away, as did my low self-esteem. It took time, though… years. At the same time, I received therapy to deal with the original events that led to my low self-esteem and self-doubt. It was all worth it, even though it took a long time.
I am not saying that self-doubt or low self-esteem doesn’t come back, or won’t come around again. Occasionally they do for me. In those situations, I talk to myself, to the Powers that Be, and focus on my good. I list out my positive points, my fears, sometimes again and again. Given time, it resolves in anywhere from minutes, to up to a few hours.
You can do the same. Get to know your positive side. Keep looking at your list, even when it seems futile. Persevere. Let into your heart the knowledge that you are a good person. Get help if you’re stuck. I hope that your self-doubt and low self-esteem soon will slide away.