How to Show Compassion to Others
As we travel through my book Opening the Gates of the Heart: A Journey of Healing, the next topic is compassion.
I put compassion after gentleness because compassion is another behavior we want to cultivate in our dealings with others and ourselves. If we practice compassion and gentleness, we will go a long way toward our goals of staying sober and finding peace.
Webster defines compassion as sorrow or deep sympathy for the sufferings or troubles of another, often accompanied by a desire to help. It also says compassion is pity for the person, but I disagree with this. I think that to show pity for another is to degrade and negate them as beings.
Pity differs from compassion in that it sometimes is accompanied by contempt because the object of our pity is regarded as weak or inferior. At least, that’s what Webster said when I looked up pity. People do not want our pity, but they may welcome our compassion.
How do we show compassion? In the book, the verse talks about my dealing with a homeless man and my inability to acknowledge him because I did not have money to give to him. I was ashamed that I couldn’t even smile, or give a nod of acknowledgment. After all, each of us wants nothing more than to be acknowledged for our difficulties. It offers validation for our pain and suffering.
Fields of Compassion
In the book, the verse goes on to say, “All it would take is a look, a smile, to let this man know I care about him, feel his plight, want to help. I can offer a fellow human being a smile, a hand, and fill a vacant field with compassion.”
To show compassion, we can say to the person something like, “I’m sorry you are needing to deal with this.” That offers acknowledgment and validation for his/her pain. It often is all that is needed for the person to continue on in their grieving process.
We can also ask, “How can I be of help to you?” if we are, in fact, willing to help in some way. Another way to show compassion is through silent means, such as donating something that will help another, such as food or money.
The point is that we get out of ourselves and offer something we have in excess, whether that be our time, our sympathy, a shoulder to cry on, or money.
How do you show compassion to one who is suffering? Do you look away or do your reach out to them? Just for today, try to offer condolences to someone who is suffering and see how it benefits both them and you.
Tomorrow, I will talk about ways in which we can show compassion to ourselves.
Tags: acknowledgment, compassion, pity, sympathy, validation of others suffering